Have You Asked the Right Questions?

Questions to Ask Before Marriage

“Here comes the Bride, all dressed in…”

Hold up! You’re dating Mr. Wonderful and he seems to be everything you could have ever dreamed of. He’s the right height, is sweet to his mom, can talk guns/sports/man-things with your dad and even knows how to make toast without burning it.

Could this be love?

Before you start planning that big day, practice signing your name with his last name, or naming your children, put down the wedding magazines long enough to make sure you’ve covered some important topics with your significant other. The answers will give you some insight as to whether this is has some lasting potential and what possible road bumps you may encounter along the way.

  1. Do you want children? If so, how many?
  2. How will said children be raised? What are the expectations about both of us working or one of us staying home?
  3. Do you expect your future family to look exactly like your’s did growing up?
  4. Do they have a particular faith or set of religious beliefs? How important is that to their daily life? If your faith and his don’t match up, what kind of conflict might it cause?
  5. What to you is an ideal Friday night? Weekend?
  6. Given a thousand dollars, how would you spend it?
  7. If money were no object, what would you spend your days doing?
  8. Do you have any debt? When do you think it is ok to take on debt?
  9. How do you best receive love? (A great book on this is The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts,
    by Gary Chapman)
  10. Is there anything I could ever do that would make you stop loving me?
  11. What is your position on [insert controversial issue such as abortion, same-sex marriage, ObamaCare, the debt ceiling, school choice, and anything else you can think of that might cause tension]?

This list is just to get you started. Hopefully this sparks some great discussions and many more questions that will give you a glimpse into the person you’re thinking of marrying. Then you can either say “I do,” with confidence or take the equally important step of walking away and waiting for a better fit.

What other questions would you add to the list?

About Joanna Hyatt

Based out of Los Angeles, Joanna Hyatt is a national speaker on dating, relationships and sex, and the author of The Sex Talk: A Survival Guide for Parents. She blogs at www.joannahyatt.com and tweets @JoannaHyatt.


  1. Heather Przybyla says:

    Yeah! Hubs and I had discussed most if not all on the list before we were engaged. We used to have 45 minute rides home every Sunday night, so we talked a lot! 🙂

  2. fabgrandma says:

    It is so important to ask these questions before getting married, but how many people really do? After the wedding is too late to find out he doesn’t want kids, or that he likes to vacation alone. Find out as much as you can before.

  3. Great questions and you’re right, these discussions are so important to discuss before marraige and before you’ve given away a piece of your heart.

  4. I think this is a really good list. It’s so important to have compatibility on these core issues and make sure that you know where you stand before you make a commitment.

  5. I agree with the 1st question but that changed for us, we said 2 before we got married and now we have 5! LOL!

  6. Amy @ MI Savings Mama says:

    This is a great list! Looking back now, I think at one point in time my hubby and I did discuss these different things!

  7. I would add questions about how you would raise kids, especially if you’re from different religious backgrounds.

  8. I really boils down to communication. You have to know each other before committing to marriage.

  9. These are really great questions, but I’d ask them once the relationship get a bit serious… and not wait until just before marriage.

  10. Emily_faliLV says:

    Great questions!! We like 5 languages of love too!

  11. the questions about children and money are the most important I think … I’m so glad hubby and I agree on all the things that are important to us. It really makes for a happy marriage!

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