Third Time is a Charm

Today’s story comes from JW, a Christian Science Fiction writer.  I’ll turn it over to him now…

I would love to tell a story about how my wife Dora and I met in high school. Gazing at each other across a senior math class then going back and telling all our friends that was the person we were going to marry; but that just wasn’t the case. We grew up five years and over 200 miles apart. Both of us got married right out of high school, hers lasted a little over a year, mine lasted three. Her second marriage lasted 23 years and mine lasted 12.

Fast forward to the year 2001 and we found ourselves single parents in our 40’s living about 100 miles apart. After my second divorce I could see myself headed down the same path. And we’ve all been told the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. After much time in prayer the Lord gave me three simple rules to keep me out of trouble: I could date all I wanted, but I was not allowed to share my roof, bed, or bank account with anyone until I got married. Now I know there are people today even Christians that will tell you that kind of Victorian era thinking just doesn’t work in this modern day and age. My response to that is: we give our kids boundaries all the time to keep them out of trouble. So what’s different with God doing the same for us? I also did something that some Christians wouldn’t do: I met my wife online through a dating site. People will tell you with all the crazies out there that is about the dumbest thing that you can ever do. In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with online dating you just have to use common sense. The important thing was both of us had gotten back into church and were letting God show us what was important. We both went through the stage where we wondered at our age if we would ever find somebody. As a Deacon at my church I was busy going to functions and standing at the front of the congregation by myself with the other deacons and their wives. Dora was busy reading articles about how the older she got the fewer men were available for marriage. Unknown to each other we both came to the same conclusion that if God wanted us to be single for the rest of our lives then so be it. We both happen to be members of a group called Yahoo Christian Singles of Southeast Texas. The really funny thing was I had restricted myself to only women in the local area. Because of my duties as a Sunday school teacher and Deacon I knew I would not be able to date someone that lived very far away. However unknown to me these were my rules and not God’s. I looked at Dora’s profile online and started a letter to her introducing myself no less than three separate occasions. On every one of those times I deleted the letter telling myself God would not want me to date someone that lived 100 miles away. I had a full-time job along with my duties at the church and needed to find someone local.

On a Monday afternoon in the spring of 2001 I was sitting at my computer doing paperwork. Since I was online I was automatically signed into the Yahoo group. Suddenly an instant message popped onto the screen and it was from none other than Dora. It seemed we were the only two people in the group signed on at the time. And to her this was a kin to exchanging a pleasantry as if we were sharing an elevator. We began a conversation on the computer which graduated a couple days later to a phone call which culminated in our first date, the following Saturday. What I discovered was that God has a way of making things work out even if we didn’t live close to each other. The road hasn’t always been a smooth one. In 2007 we lost her son in an ATV rollover accident. In 2009 my daughter was diagnosed as severe bipolar. I found out I had colon cancer during the week of Thanksgiving 2011. Then right around my six month checkup Dora went in for tests and discovered she had kidney cancer. At the time of this writing we just celebrated 13 years and are both cancer free and continuing to do God’s work.

Wedding Day

Our Wedding Day, September 22, 2001. While we were planning our wedding she specifically told me she didn’t want one of those little plastic bride and grooms on the wedding cake. So me being a pilot naturally I opted for an airplane, she loved it.

Cleaning a gun

Some grandmothers knit, Dora on the other hand….. She is a prior service Marine, nine years on active duty. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Hospital Anniversary

Our 11th wedding anniversary. Dora went in on a Monday for surgery and we were back home on Friday. The following Wednesday we were back in the hospital because she couldn’t keep anything down. This is my travel coffee cup and her IV bag and I’m making a toast to us. I told her it wasn’t the most romantic place we had ever been but it was by far the most expensive.

Flying High

We actually work for the same company. Less than a year after we were married my boss took one look at her resume and instead of handing it to a friend of his at another company he hired her. Although we work in different divisions she does get the chance occasionally to ride in the company aircraft.

Aren’t they just sweet together?  

About Ashley

Ashley is very happily married and the mother to a beautiful little girl and sweet baby boy, and she is the main voice behind Embracing Marriage.


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