Don’t Be the Twitter Queen

This is a guest post by my friend, Arlene Pellicane.  I think you’ll enjoy it!

His comment caught me off-guard.

Since I was speaking at a youth conference about teens and technology, I figured the dad waiting to speak with me wanted to talk about his crazy texting teenager.

But he didn’t come to talk about his daughter. He came to talk about his wife.

You see, this man was a father of three who had a wonderful wife except for one little area. She was addicted to Twitter.

It began innocently enough. His wife was involved in women’s ministry. She would notice someone in need and send them an encouraging tweet during the week. The recipient of the tweet was so touched that Nancy began sending messages to more women in the church to encourage them. Before she knew it, she was constantly communicating with friends on social media.

Being digitally connected became a part of her life and she didn’t know how to stop.

On date nights, she would sit with her husband at dinner, phone in hand. She would reply to tweets and send tweets about the restaurant. During commutes, at home, at play – one thing was constant. Her connection to her phone at all times.

The man’s friends started calling his wife the “Twitter Queen” and that wasn’t meant as a compliment as you can imagine.

Don't Be a Social Media Queen

This husband and wife aren’t the only ones struggling with the intrusion of technology into our relationships. Parents are glued to their phones while they walk their kids from the parking lot to the school yard. At home, moms or dads constantly face screens, whether it’s a computer, tablet, television, or phone.

We’re busy checking emails, social media, stock prices, daily news, and text messages. Headlines grab our attention while our kids or spouses go unnoticed.

No child wants to compete with screens for their parents’ attention nor should they have to. Yet adults are becoming increasingly dependent on their devices, causing communication to erode with their children. Kids don’t need constant attention from their parents, but they do need the assurance that they rank above the noise of the screen world.

Here’s a great video from Gary Chapman on the issue of raising relational kids in a screen-driven world.

So before you scroll through posts on social media, ask yourself a few questions:

Am I wasting time on social media?

Do the people in my family have my full attention or am I distracted by social media?

Is there anything I need to change to make sure I don’t end up like the “Twitter Queen?”

Arlene PellicaneArlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (co-authored with Gary Chapman), 31 Days to a Happy Husband, and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife.

Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Family Life Today, K-LOVE, The Better Show, The 700 Club, Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah, and TLC’s Home Made Simple.

Arlene earned her BA from Biola University and her Masters in Journalism from Regent University. She lives in San Diego with her husband James and three children.

Visit Arlene at for free family resources including a monthly Happy Home podcast.

About Ashley

Ashley is very happily married and the mother to a beautiful little girl and sweet baby boy, and she is the main voice behind Embracing Marriage.


  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    It’s tough. My husband is always reminding me that I am ALWAYS on my phone, but I feel like I can’t step away sometimes.

  2. Allison says:

    I agree completely, there needs to be balance whenever it comes to phones. You need to learn what works best for you and where to draw the line.

  3. My husband and I both work from home so social media is very important to that aspect of our lives. It is important to spend time with family away from all the technology once in a while.

  4. Whenever we go out to eat or eat dinner at home, NO PHONES or tablets, ever. Everyone knows that rule! We talk and have conversations. I look forward to it each day 🙂

  5. My husband is always complaining about me being only phone. Its part of my job but I do need to have an end time to it.

  6. Sadly I think you are more right than wrong. We adults can just as easily become attached to our devices as our kids… And as you share, it becomes innocently. We’ve implemented No electronic times and zones to help us all disconnect at least 3 times during the day. It makes a hue difference!

  7. It is so easy to become addicted to social media. It’s even harder when your lively revolves around it. This is still a good reminder that we need to unplug periodically so that we can recharge and reconnect in the real world.

  8. Staying constantly up-to-date with your social media does take a ton of time. I definitely wouldn’t want to be a “Twitter queen.”

  9. It’s so easy to let technology take over but so important to have limits within the family. When we eat there is absolutely NO tech allowed.

  10. I know I am addicted to my phone. I also know I need to put it down and talk to my husband every day for a while. I really do try to and he does notice when I do.

  11. I’ll be honest, this is me. I get the most done (on social media or just in general) after the kids have gone to bed. I know that this should be a time to relax & reconnect with my husband, but the endless to-do list makes me anxious. I need to work on it.

  12. I think most of us can nod our heads in shame agreeing that this is us to some extent. We really do need to scale back and live in the NOW for our families and friends.

  13. I can relate and understand. I have made it a point to NOT be online in the evenings. THAT is family time. 🙂

  14. Its true, you have to be just as limiting on yourself as your kids. I know we are all guilty at times, bujt my family implemented an adults and kids no screen time in the evening and I also try to leave my phone in the car when I am out, that way I am not distracted by it. I am pretty good w/ the kids during the day.

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