Free Ebook: What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?

What-its-like-to-be-married

What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? has been on my Amazon wish list for a while now and today it’s free!!!  Well, the ebook version anyway.

Download a free copy of What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions.  If you don’t have a Kindle you can go here to download a free app that enables you to read Kindle ebooks on your PC or iPad.

Please note!  The price of this ebook is currently $0.00 but that could change at any time.  Please double check the price before checking out.

Polls Can’t Be Trusted

Polls can't be trusted

“I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour.  I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.” – Erma Bombeck

This quote is just for fun!  Erma Bombeck’s writings have always made me laugh and I felt like sharing a little laughter tonight.

How to Give Your Man a Massage

How to Give Your Man a Killer Massage!

There aren’t many things that are indulgent and good for you but a massage is one of them!  A good massage will help you relax and release tension.  Plus, new studies have shown that it can help boost your immune system and help regulate high blood pressure!

Why not give your spouse the gift of relaxation this Valentine’s Day?  Go grab your partner and follow these simple to follow tips from Josie Feria, the Director of Operations at Lapis Spa, and your skills can revival the pros.  Just so you’re aware, I’ve added my two cents in {brackets} below.  Enjoy!!

Environment; Set the Ambiance:

  • – Lower lights.
  • – {Clean the room where you’ll give the massage. It’s hard to relax surrounded by clutter.}
  • – Light candles {Tea lights are a great, cheap option}.
  • – Warm the room to a comfortable 72 degrees.
  • – Burn a fragrant candle or incense.
  • – {Relaxing music turned down low could be nice.  Something instrumental that you can’t hum along to would be my pick.}

Props:

  • – Use a pillow {or two} as a bolster to prop up the legs.
  • – Oil for massage – use a carrier oil like almond, avocado or grape seed oil and add a few drops of essential aromatherapy oil. {Bath & Body Works sells a great line of aromatherapy massage oils}
  • – Two hand towels heated in the microwave.

Massage Technique:

  • – {Apply oil to hands after warming the oil in bowl of hot water}
  • – Slow rhythmic movements done in a series will produce a sense of relaxation and nurturing.
  • – Starting on the back left side use long and consistent strokes (effleurage).   Begin at waist and move up to the shoulder – do this 6 / 9 times with sufficient pressure to stimulate circulation and bring a rosy tone to the surface of the skin.
  • – Move to shoulder and perform slow, rhythmic kneading and rolling motion on the shoulder and the neck with emphasis on muscle from neck to shoulder which undergoes a lot of strain due to office work and bad posture.
  • – Be consistent by counting the number of strokes you use in each area and varying the pressure as you sense the tissue becoming more relaxed under your hands.
  • – Reapply oil as needed to maintain slip and movement of the hands.
  • – Continue to right side and repeat entire process.
  • – End the work on the back using both hands in sweeping upward motion through middle of back to nape of neck.  Apply pressure to the spinal column – gently with both thumbs.
  • – Now on to the scalp/head massage – this is important to massage as the scalp and face hold a lot of stress
  • – Turn guest over and place a rolled hand towel – heated in your microwave wave under the neck and one (not rolled) under the back to give warmth and further relax – proceed to add a small amount of oil to your hands and perform a scalp massage {I wouldn’t want oil on my head so ask your partner before doing this} by using thumb to apply pressure to temple- center of head and the bridge under the eyes – use the counting method to remain consistent in strokes.

I know that gifts should be given without any expectation of one in return but hopefully your spouse will be so appreciative of your efforts that he’ll return the favor at a later time.  Don’t expect it right away though because you’ve just made him completely relaxed.

The Depth of Intimacy

The Depth of Intimacy

This is Dale & I in our field.

Intimacy. Hmm…

After 32 years of marriage, I still blush talking about it!  It is so private and sacred!

No expression of human communion is deeper than that of a husband and wife making love. It borders on supernatural in expression.  The sensory goes beyond flesh into spiritual depths that are indescribable.

It took me a while to fully understand this in my marriage. Intimacy on the indescribable level can only be attained through a complete surrender of your heart and mind. God intended it to be this way. A lot of people skip this part and think that the very act of making love will induce love. It doesn’t. It deepens it, yes…but only when you surrender your heart.

When I got married I had no idea what surrender meant. The only thing my mom told me before I got married about intimacy was this: Don’t ever deny him. So I didn’t.

Oh, Dale and I loved each other very much, and making love was goodFor various reasons, though, I had a wall of protection around my emotions. But I was unaware of it.  And because I was unaware, I didn’t know I needed to get rid of it.

I was able to trust Dale (He had never done anything to cause me not to trust him).  Over time, the walls protecting my heart slowly started coming down.  One night, unbeknownst to him, I decided to surrender my whole heart.

Hint: You’re supposed to do that at the altar—some of us just didn’t know how!

Let me tell you what happened when I finally surrendered…

It had been a long day.  I had cooked dinner, washed dishes, bathed the kids, put a load of laundry in, and put the babies to bed. Dale had been busy working, so he didn’t know how tired I was.  The little ones were finally asleep, and I was exhausted.  I was about to collapse when he gave me that look. You know…the look.

I was too tired, but my mom’s words came to mind.

He started to kiss me. This time something switched in my mind.  I decided to not think of this as a duty, but, instead, I accepted his gestures as gestures of love toward me. Then I surrendered everything to him—every vulnerable part of my heart, mind and body.  I loved him wholly and completely—unabashedly.

For the first time ever, a floodgate opened.  The wall lifted.  My emotions left the natural and went into indescribable. I started to cry I was so overcome. (Which was a little embarrassing, because I never cried!)

We were one flesh, and it was beyond good. It was absolute abandon. Whew, that was a big deal for me!  If more husbands and wives could love with abandon and receive love with abandon, there would be a lot fewer problems in marriage. I’m talking to husbands, too!

It is the same with my spiritual life. When I love and trust God with all my heart, soul and mind, in a place of abandonment, I enter into His sanctuary and am so overcome with the union of His presence, it is indescribable.

The ecstasy of loving and receiving love with no reins, freed, uninhibited—this is God’s ideal of marriage. He is the author of romance you know!

Many people struggle with intimacy in their marriage.  I think Satan works overtime trying to destroy it.  If he can mess with the deepest and most passionate thing God intended for marriage, well, then he may just have a foothold to destroy the family unit.

Men need to know they are loved just as much as we do. Your man may have walls around his heart, too. We need to love our husbands with outrageous, abandoned love in our conversations, our actions, and in intimacy.

Sometimes we may not think he is deserving of our intimacy. Next time you think that, remember this verse in relation to him, “Love is patient, love is kind… It does not dishonor, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”  (1 Corinthians 13:4)

He may be undeserving.  Love and be intimate anyway.  Do unto him as you would have him do to you.  If you love and bless him even when he doesn’t deserve it, in time you will reap what you sow.

The Lord desires your marriage to be happy, full, pure and indescribable.

Ask Him to help you.